Got a toothbrush?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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