I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
