I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize