You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
