Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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