We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
