Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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