Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
