i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
