You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
