u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
