that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You took a bar mat shot.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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