He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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