Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
