i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
