Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
