morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
