Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
