I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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