She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
