Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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