you would pick up someone in the library
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Ladies don't puke and tell
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
