Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
