check it out our google latitudes are spooning
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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