My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
