I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
