why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
