that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Go christen that room with your naked body.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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