You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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