ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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