i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
