just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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