Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
