they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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