this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
