Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There are leaves in my underwear?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
