Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
my poor anus
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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