Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
