I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
