He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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