hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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