my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
