need another drink. this is the easiest way
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
