I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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