Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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