Sry I called you an 8
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
