they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
