can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
