just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You brought string cheese to the strip club
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
