i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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