What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
