They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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