I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
