I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize