i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
