I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize