I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
