I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
