Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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