Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
