i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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