chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
